Black Hole

A black hole is a region of space in which the gravitational field is so powerful that nothing can escape after having fallen past the event horizon. The name comes from the fact that even light is unable to escape, rendering the interior invisible.

By January 1991, Jeff and I had been married almost 11 years and been through quite a bit. We had 2 beautiful sons, the oldest was 10 ½ years old and the baby was 19 months old. We had been through brushes with the law, addictions, affairs, tried to start a business; a real roller coaster ride. Things had finally started to calm down. We worked, we went to church, we raised our boys and we went fishing and camping. Jeff worked as a lineman for the cable company and I worked at a grocery store.
The morning of January 15th was no different from any other except I felt bad I hadn’t been able to afford to get him a birthday present. He turned 30 the day before, we had a nice meal and cake and he assured me it was fine he didn’t get a gift. So I made the coffee and I made his lunch and I sat on the kitchen counter and hugged him good-bye. I got J up for school, fed him and L breakfast and drove J to school.
At 8:30 the phone rang and I was sure J must have forgot something.
“Is this Mrs. G?”
“Yes”
“Your husband has been in an accident” (My heart instantly felt heavy, I didn’t want to hear this, have to listen, don’t drop the baby)…. blah, blah, blah…hospital, surgery…blah, blah, blah.
When I got off the phone my mind was spinning and so was I. I walked in circles holding L just repeating “Jesus”. I needed some help and I needed it now. I called his brother who lived near by, put the baby in the car seat, picked him up and went to the hospital.

On the way to the hospital we assured each other that Jeff’s strength and love of life would see him through. He’d be fine. I talked with a nurse when I arrived and explained who I was. She told me that Jeff was in surgery but he had tried to leave the hospital when he got there, broken femur and all. So we sat and waited. The police came to speak to me. They said it appeared Jeff had hit a patch of black ice and lost control of the car. At the same time, a pickup truck was traveling in the opposite direction and T-boned the car. He said they had to use the Jaws of Life to get him out of the car.
What was taking so long, I wanted to talk to him.
They came to get us when he was out of surgery and said we could go see him. I didn’t expect for him to be awake but he was. They had a respirator in his mouth so he couldn’t talk and he was still very groggy, but he was awake and looking at me and trying to pull that thing out of his mouth. I told him I loved him and everything was going to be fine.
Jeff’s brother was there so I left the hospital to go take care of the kids and find a babysitter so I could come back. A neighbor watched L while I went to the school. I explained to the counselor what had happened and had her help me explain it to J. Then I made all the phone calls to his family, my family and our friends. Details blurred together through fear and tears. By the time I got back to the hospital his brother was sitting in the waiting room and said they were working on him.
What happened? He was awake; he was okay. Apparently there was internal bleeding they had missed. Hours passed and everyone started arriving at the hospital. None of us could go in. Fear started changing to anger in me. I yelled and screamed and kicked the wall, then jumped in the elevator. Doors opened and I noticed there were wet footprints on the floor. I followed them…to the Chapel room. I got down on my knees and prayed.
It was later they finally let Jeff’s mother and I go in. As soon as I walked in the room I knew. I said it out loud, “He’s not here anymore.” The body was there and the chest moved up and down from the respirator but Jeff’s spirit was not there.
There was talking and questions all of it a blur. I had to get out of there. I left with my sister and her husband and as I walked through the hospital doors the gravitational pull of the Black Hole was complete. I fell to the ground and cried “ Oh God, my babies!” January 16, 1991