Teenagers! (heavy sigh, eye roll)

When the kids were young it was simple, simple to make them happy and laugh. I could chase them around the yard or do the “superman”. We’d do arts and crafts and play board game; Candy Land was a favorite. Birthday parties, picnics in the park, the zoo and playing in the sprinkler. We’d take them to the park, taught them to ride bikes and roller blade. We had a pool in the back yard and taught them to swim. We planned family vacations and went to amusement parks. We played Donkey Kong with them, dressed up for Halloween and put cookies out for Santa. But as they grew we quit being fun or cool to be around. It became- can you take me here or can you take me to so and so’s. I guess my job description changed before I was ready. They are all good boys and I am proud of every one of them. I always get complimented on how well mannered and polite they are. But none of that makes the letting go any easier or the process any smoother.
I have to say Miah spoiled me; he was a good boy or else extremely good at hiding the truth. He played football and hung out with his friends. We caught him and Brian sneaking out in the middle of the night once. Their punishment was to move the wood stack, paint the shed then move the wood back. Then there was the time we left him home alone for the weekend and like a lot of teenagers in the U.S. he had a party that got busted up by the cops. He was grounded for a while.
When it came time to learn to drive Garett taught him on his 5 speed Mustang. Three times the charm, he finally passed the test and we gave him the Mustang to drive. I understandably have a bit of phobia about putting my child in the drivers seat, the winter was particularly hard, but I did. I got him a pager and he was to call me and let me know where he was and be home by 10 during the week and 12 on the weekend. Then one Saturday night I woke up at 1 am and went to make sure he was home. He wasn’t there so I started paging him and I paged him every 5 min till I got a phone call from a cop. My knees buckled. I handed the phone to Garett because I couldn’t speak. Garett got all the information and got off the phone. He told me Miah was fine but Brian had a broken nose and the car was totaled. He asked me to come with him down there but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. He got a ticket for Failure to maintain control and had to pay to go to a driving class. I also had to attend the class with him because he was only 17 at the time. I never would go see the car and I took his license away for 6 months and drove him back and forth to work. He saved up his money and bought a small truck. To this day he keeps a picture of that crunched up car on his refrigerator as a reminder.
Luke was a little different; we always butted heads. It was always a game of opposites and never quite understanding what the other person was saying. After years and years I have learned to consciously remain on the fence, so there is nothing for him to oppose. While Luke was learning to drive he would have to go out with me lot because of Garett’s longer hours and Luke’s football schedule. I didn’t like it. We made each other tense and his skill level made me nervous. We made it through and when I rode with him for his driving test I literally held my hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t say anything. He passed and we fixed the Subaru and gave that to him to drive. Three weeks later I was leaving the grocery store when I got a call from Luke. Luke like to joke with me and try and freak me out so when he said “Mom I wrecked the car.” I said, “Shut up and get off the phone.” He said “No, really.” My heart started pounding. “Are you alright? Is Megan alright?” They were fine so I got their location and called 911. By the time I arrived the police were already there and so was the tow truck. I made Megan call her parents and they came to get her and Luke apologized. Apparently they had just re-graveled the road he was on and the car fishtailed into the ditch where the front tires stuck in the mud and the back end flipped over. Luke was working so we split the cost of another car so he could get to work, school and football practice.
They have gotten a lot stricter about under age drinking in resent years and the cops like to hand out MIPs like candy to the kids and the parents foot the bills, which run into hundreds of dollars. Not so in this house. My motto has always been “You play, you pay”. So Luke got a MIP and had to go to court. He was 18 and legally an adult. The judge gave him probation, community service, an alcohol awareness program, victim impact panel and a fine. All of that added up to big bucks. When we got out of there Luke claimed he wasn’t going to do it, it was stupid. So I said, “Let me know how that works out for you” and took him back to college. Six months later he received a letter from the court ordering him back to show just cause for not doing what he was ordered to do. It was like watching him fall, from across the room, as a baby. Knowing what is about to happen and not being able to do anything about it is hard for any parent. I did not go with him. The next time I heard from him he was in jail on work release and the only time I saw him over the next month was when I went to his work. He got out and went to visit Jeff’s family in SVA and ended up staying and getting a job drilling for natural gas. I gave him the School of Hard Knocks Certificate that year.